I have a complicated relationship with capital g “Growth” per this. But if there’s any Charizard-style, linear growth happening, it looks like the Then and Now of my pies journey. 5 years ago I would’ve told you I can’t bake a pie. Under the tutelage of Petra Paradez’s sage wisdom in her book, Pie for Everyone, and with the vast Inside-ness of the pandemic, I’ve come a long way. More to go.

With unexpected downtime between projects in June, Joey asked me to “maybe help out” with Steven’s idea for a new Sylvain Labs thought-leadership experiment (if you read nothing further, it’s now live). The plan was to help come up with a series of white-papers that don’t just regurgitate business platitudes, but actually conjure up ideas and tools to start changing things up at work. Cheekily, they called these “Off-White Papers”.

Days turned into weeks and me “maybe helping out” turned into me assisting with first paper drafts, dreaming up some of those tools, shifting from writer-mode to producer-mode, outlining all the content we’d need for a website and a newsletter, and then building out that website wireframe on Shopify (woof), and designing every campaign template, form, and page we’d need in MailChimp for a companion newsletter (S/O to my SO for several a coding assist).

From strategy, to writing, to design, to production: I can proudly say I more than “maybe helped out” with a little bit of everything. It all became this deeply magical moonlit mess of Joey, Steven, Trevor, Katie, myself, David, Les, and a few more folks all in a collaboration of love. And as always, thankful I’ve been able to trick Joey into consistently inviting me along for the ride on all his crazy ideas. (Shhh. Don’t tell him, though.)

Check out:

• The website

• The inaugural Off-White Paper, and

• The newsletter

I usually post about things made 100% by me but re: collaboration-of-love, credit here is 1000% shared. Still, see here a little sneak peek of what I helped build.

🍋 is doing some self-reflection so I recommended she do what I’d call a Personal Word Vomit and I transcribed. I love it so much.

charming spunky personable enthusiasm pineapple sh*t gumption! soopa fly calm chill lax laid back also organized loves a good plan loves a good sandwich food good eating yum yum scared but brave maybe that's what brave is? silly sometimes quiet angry when people say I'm quiet timid? sometimes happygolucky lazy short bursts of energy sleepyyyyy not really a morning bird or a night owl kind of midday outgoing when I need to be leader when I need to be also good follower wearer of Ralph Lauren that's not true ha empathetic kind gives good hugs loves to dance no matter who's watching any time of day any location whether appropriate or not doesn't really matter where I'm at likes nature good views connecting with people likes hearing stories less great at telling stories BIG listener SUPER BIG listener I absorb so much people think I'm quiet because I get so lost in listening I only contribute only when I think it’s of good value I don't just say anything to say anything I like making other people feel better I don't like it when people get really stressed out or any bad reaction no anger no blaming people a homebody who goes out sometimes.

As Let’s Save the Date approaches its second birthday, I FINALLY figured out the proper code to lock the typewriter effect on the landing page!! James would be proud. Of course, only a week later, they retired the domain.

Still, I realized I never shared this work. Background: I and fellow Sylvain Labs intern, Eliza, devoted our summers to researching the engagement process, out of which I built a micro-site (http://letssavethedate.com), hand-drew the illustrations, and hand-wrote the workbook. It’s a satire of the overabundant “wedding planning survival checklist:” instead, an emotional survival guide—something Brides, Martha, and other ‘Big Wedding’ oracles don’t provide (despite painfully obvious need). Since participating in a few weddings and witnessing the stressors firsthand, I’m proud to say the guide still holds up. Kicking myself about the missed opportunity to refer to the stressors as “uninvited wedding guests.” Good thing I’m truly the only one who would care about this anyway.

It’s about time I share the podcast.

First the brainchild of Joey and Aaron, So I’ve Been Thinking was not yet a podcast, nor a thing. Joey asked me to join them and make it a thing. So I strategized it, renamed it, learned some of the ins and outs of podcast hosting (on a technical end)—am still learning the ins and outs of podcast hosting (on the entertainment end)—and have since created this silly food-for-thought show that we record every week.

Now that it’s 8ish months in and we have 4000K+ downloads and about 100+ subscribers, you’d think it would feel like even more of a thing. But to me, it’s mostly a fun excuse to hang out with these goofy nerds.

Have a listen and look out for the show notes I write weekly. (NoraM’s cover artwork below.)

(Warning: thisisnonsense.com is still a major work in progress…)

Let's make credit cards that are wands.

when you forget to shake the ketchup and that gross juice comes out all over your food instead of ketchup
when you push the wrong side of an ambiguously-hinged door
when the faucet is not centered so your hands touch the back of the sink-bowl
when all of the automated sinks dispense only hot water and it's hot out
when it doesn't rip along the perforation
when there are only wall-mounted driers so you're forced to turn the handle without a paper-towel buffer
when a lock is set opposite to the intuitive 'locking' direction
when you have to use the bad hotel soap
when there are paper straws
when someone microwaves that with plastic wrap on it

Combinations from this list sound like sequel proposals to the HP universe.

Winning Title: A Coil of Widgeon and the Implausibility of Gnus

1. Solitary filled with all of your worldly possessions would be an intensely self-actualizing experience.
   
2. A mud park. Mud slides, mud pies, mud tires: sprinklers everywhere.
   
3. An orchard is just the Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory of fruits where Mother Nature is Gene Wilder.
   

I told a friend he had to stop pilfering all of my pens and pencils. He pulled out his new rainbow set of pens and told me I could have a few as recompense. He pointed to the pink one and said “You can definitely have that one.”

Why not the pink one? If he wanted a set of highly visible inks, wouldn’t he have bought some black rollerballs? Is he embarrassed to be seen using a pink pen? What’s so embarrassing about a color?

What is so embarrassing about a color?

Blue is the color of water-bodies (and so much else); its meaning can’t be manipulated much because we already associate it with many things. Pink is fairly uncommon in nature, and thereby is more mouldable by businesses and social movements: without preexisting stuff to associate to pink, people have much more freedom to decide what pink SHOULD mean.

There are not that many naturally-occuring pink things. But there are some:

Flowers
Tourmaline, Spinel, and Other Gemstones
Flamingos
Axolotls
Triboniophorus Affinis Graeffei (aka Giant Pink Slug. Good one, evolution.)
The Pink Lake
Sunsets
Seashells
Apples
Underripe Strawberries
Dragonfruit
Lips, Cheeks, and Other Fleshy Things

…Or, the shorthand version:

Flowers
Fruits
Things in Australia

NPR blamed marketing for gendering pink. But I think pink kind of already had it coming. Pink is tied down to the real world by things of a sensuous nature (sights, smells, textures, tastes, etc.). If pink is inherently sensuous, and we deeply associate feminineness to sensuousness (not that we should, per se, but that we do)…transitive property?

[Aside: Aradhna Krishna differentiates sensuousness from the sexual connotation we often ascribe to it, calling it anything “of or related to the senses.” She deserves credit for my self-discovery as a sensuist: I experience and appreciate sensory experiences more strongly than most.]

Step 1: Pick an emoji, and write down what it is.
Step 2: Open a different emoji tab, then repeat Step 1.
Step 3: Repeat Step 2.
Step 4: Combine everything you just wrote.
Step 5: Input your new password.

(Just don’t use “dragoncherrytractor”: it’s too obvious.)

We sat in a circle, legs crossed, passing around a flimsy sandwich bag of folded notes. I drew mine and waited. The boy next to me was already reading his: something with the word “Trashy”.

I opened mine.

All Big Releases

Like,

A yawn
A sneeze
An orgasm
Turning off the vacuum
When the wasabi stops burning
When you realize you’re all alone
Nighttime
Seeing a friend that you haven’t seen in a long time
Cutting the first slice of cake
Letting your hair down
Popping anything
Pooping everything
Falling asleep
Crying
Saying I love you
Breaking a rubber band
When the timer goes off
When the power goes out
When you lose
When you win
Saying goodbye
Showering off your sweat
Cracking a glow-stick
Blowing an incredible bubble-gum bubble
Jumping in
Coming up for air
Death
A deep breath

More as I think of them.

I waited on Ross’ third-floor as cables gently whirred behind the elevator doors. To the left of every set of doors is a panel that can only be likened to shutter shades; it is backlit and a ring plays when that elevator will be the next to arrive. To the right of every set of doors is a floor length mirror. Like this:

As I’m sure nearly every Ross elevator-user is wont to do, I put myself in front of the mirror to study myself while I waited. And as soon as the doors opened, I realized that I had just done the following.

I had moved myself out of the way of the doors (and thereby a potential out-goer’s way) without thinking! My ego had nudged me to the left just a couple of feet, and someone had designed it so. Cool.

p.s. FiftyThree never ceases to amaze. Sketched these up on their new phone app, and am still mid-exploration of the new iPad-version features.

I have been asking these questions for-seemingly-ever to seemingly-everyone without satisfactory reply. Riddle me these:

1. It is socially acceptable to wear underwear in public, IFF it’s waterproof.

2. Adding an egg to a food turns it into a breakfast food (*see breakfast burrito).

3. The word “hardly” doesn’t make sense.

If I were an art professor, I’d make a “Watermelon Project.” The students would walk into class and see a table piled high with watermelons and a spread of kitchen knives of various sizes and styles. They would have the whole class period to use their watermelons to explore shape and space, and they would have to present something to the class at the end of the period. Some students might build structures, some might experiment with geometry, some might paint watercolours with the juice, some might carve stamps out of the rind, some might photograph themselves eating it…

When The Outer Layer is Practically The Best Part
- Pie
- Muffins
- Brownies
- Pizza
- Rolls
- Bagels
- Mac and cheese
- Fried chicken

When The Outer Layer is Way Worse Than What’s Inside
- The butts of a loaf of bread
- The cheese rind

I’ve always been a fan of the Seth Macfarlane version of “You’re the Cream in My Coffee.” But for the first time yesterday, I listened to the version by Nat King Cole.

Listen to the way he pronounces “you’re.”

It’s more like “youer” as opposed to the more colloquial “your” pronunciation.

And this changes everything! It’s more poetic: the lyrics are far more assonant and parallelized. If you take another listen, you’ll hear it. And like how performing Shakespeare in the original pronunciation matters, it more accurately reflects the speech patterns of its time (early-ish 1900s). As a contraction for “you are” and written as “you’re,” the natural, phonological drift towards sounding like “your” probably just happened with time. 

Of course, I can’t blame Seth for singing in his own accent. But isn’t it a wonderful surprise to learn something new about something you thought you knew?

People often pretend they don’t care about eyebrows or genuinely don’t realize they care about eyebrows.

You can tell that something is off: faces ridden with untamed grasses or dirt specks or black worms.

But unless you’ve had experience scrutinizing brows, it might not register right away.

Call me a brow scrutinizer.

And not only because I have a plucking addiction. (Elle has a lovely overview. WikiHow has a horrendous one.)

Rather, it is a blatantly perfectionist art where mistakes have overt consequences. Too thin, too thick, too arched, too wide, too stark, too rushed, and the untrained eye will notice that ‘something is off.’ And when it’s just right, they go unnoticed. Great things are like that; no matter what it really takes, they look easy, seamless, and simple.

In 2002, I read books on a weekly basis. I studied poetry and meteorology and mathematics simultaneously. By the end of 2003, I’d picked up the cello, begun authoring a children’s book, and endeavored to memorize all of the United States presidents in order of their time in office. In 2005, I’d helped lead the charge on a burgeoning recycling program and done two theses on Louis and Clark and the life and works of Pablo Picasso.

Back when I was in elementary school. And back when I was a polymath, on the road to becoming an educated citizen of the world.

By last spring, it felt clearer to me than ever that my progress along said path had been stunted. By the anxious gust of social pressure hurrying me to become an adult. This (in junction with my love of lists) sparked the Scholarly To-Do List: a whiff of the roses in life’s Eden of knowledge. It is a compilation of subjects, ideas, and tasks I should know to be the kind of worldly citizen I expect myself to be. The list is extensive, but I made progress over the summer. A few subjects I worked on in the last four months:

• Food and Wine (the differences between the production of wine, beer, and liquor, and basic cocktail ingredients)
• Reading (“The Last Chinese Chef”, “The Hobbit”, and “Ruhlman’s Twenty”)
• Film (watching Casablanca for the first time on my puny laptop screen)
• Religion (going to Israel, researching and doing basic comparisons between Judaism, Christianity, and Islam)
• Art (visits to the new Barnes and Cezanne exhibit and the PMA)

and finally,

• Music

I spent the entire summer listening to and memorizing a playlist of nearly two and a half-hours of musical classics. These are the songs that you recognize and love, to which you hum and fake-play-the-strings, yet with which you cannot match a composer. I’m excited to share the playlist.

1. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart – Serenade No. 13 in G, ‘Eine kleine Nachtmusik’ K525 (1997 Digital Remaster): I. Allegro
2. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart – Serenade No. 13 in G, ‘Eine kleine Nachtmusik’ K525 (1997 Digital Remaster): II. Romanze (Andante)
3. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart – Serenade No. 13 in G, ‘Eine kleine Nachtmusik’ K525 (1997 Digital Remaster): III. Menuetto (Allegretto)
4. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart – Serenade No. 13 in G, ‘Eine kleine Nachtmusik’ K525 (1997 Digital Remaster): IV. Rondo (Allegro)
5. Johann Sebastian Bach – Toccata & Fugue In D Minor, BWV 565 - Toccata
6. Antonio Vivaldi – Violin Concerto In E, Op. 8/1, RV 269, “The Four Seasons (Spring)”
7. Edvard Grieg – Peer Gynt, Op. 23 - Act 4: Morning
8. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart – Le Nozze Di Figaro, K 492 - Overture
9. Johann Sebastian Bach – Minuet In G
10. Claude Debussy – Preludes, Book 1, L 117 - La Fille Aux Cheveux De Lin
11. Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky – The Nutcracker Suite, Op. 71A - Dance Of The Sugarplum Fairy
12. Antonín Dvořák – Symphony #9 In E Minor, Op. 95, B 178, “From The New World” - 2. Largo
13. Claude Debussy – Children’s Corner, L 113 - Golliwogg’s Cake-Walk
14. Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky – The Nutcracker, Op. 71 - Miniature Overture
15. Jeremiah Clarke – Suite In D - Prince Of Denmark’s March, “Trumpet Voluntary”
16. Ludwig van Beethoven – Piano Sonata No.14 In C Sharp Minor Op.27/2 - 1st Movement ‘Moonlight
17. Frédéric Chopin – Waltz In D Flat, Op. 64/1, “Minute”
18. Gioachino Rossini – William Tell Overture - Finale
19. Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky – Swan Lake - Scene
20. Sergei Rachmaninoff – Morceaux De Fantaisies, Op. 3 - Prélude In C Sharp Minor
21. Ludwig van Beethoven – Bagatelle In A Minor - ‘Fur Elise’
22. George Gershwin – 3 Preludes - #2 In C Sharp Minor
23. Johann Sebastian Bach – Musette In D, BWV Anhung 126
24. Johann Pachelbel – Canon & Gigue In D - Canon
25. George Gershwin – Rhapsody In Blue - Andante
26. Ludwig van Beethoven – Piano Sonata No.8 In C Minor Op.13 (Pathetique)
27. Frédéric Chopin – Prelude #4 In E Minor, Op. 28/4 - #4 In E Minor
28. Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky – 1812 Overture, Op. 49 - Finale
29. Ludwig van Beethoven – Symphony No.5 In C Minor Op.67 - 1st Movement
30. Robert Schumann – Album For The Young Op.68/10 - The Merry Peasant
31. Johannes Brahms – Hungarian Dance No.1 In G Minor
32. Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov – Flight Of The Bumble Bee
33. Frédéric Chopin – Piano Sonata No.2 In B Flat Minor Op.35 - Funeral March
34. Claude Debussy – Clair De Lune
35. Johann Sebastian Bach – Brandenburg Concerto No.3 In G Major - 1st Movement
36. Georges Bizet – Carmen - Habanera
37. Johann Sebastian Bach – Ave Maria
38. Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky – The Nutcracker - Waltz Of The Flowers
39. Georges Bizet – L’Arlesienne - Prelude
40. Johannes Brahms – Hungarian Dance No.5 In G Minor
41. Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky – Swan Lake - Dance Of The Swans
42. Johann Sebastian Bach – Orchestral Suite No.2 In B Minor - Badiinerie
43. Richard Wagner – Ride Of The Valkyries
44. Ludwig van Beethoven – Ode to Joy
45. Edvard Grieg – Peer Gynt Suite #1, Op. 46 - 4. In The Hall Of The Mountain King

“Everything is like salad, Jess.”

- Ben Vander